Razzmatazz

Fried Monday underneath turnips.

Brr

The weather is cold. Just like my face.

Ham potato banana

Vulture mellencamp tango.

Enter: Harmonica

Once upon a midnight dreary,
I woke with something in my head.

Oh, funk. I am so into you.

Oops

I posted a day early. Deal with it. Suck it. Holla. Atcha boi.

Best Christmas song ever will be posted in celebration. Trick or treat, mothafucka.

Reality TV

Oh, Top Chef, why you gotta do me like that?

More music

Beautiful and sad.

Like me!

TV introduced me to Colin Hay

"If my heart could write songs, they'd sound like these."

Nothing Better

You know you need to get your shit together when you can identify with characters who are portrayed as pathetic or, to put it simply, a joke.

Turkey is good

Eat food.

"Good morning."

I need to have better dreams when I sleep.

Botany

I hate studying plants. What the hell is a root?

Annie

What happens when your bias is hidden?

BMT

Curiously curious curiosity.

Reversible

If the prancer ain't a dancer, what's the answer to all the cancer?

God fucking dammit.

Bang bang.

Fuck subtlety and fuck being discrete.

Fuck that school, fuck that city, and fuck that state. Burn it to the ground.

Take the win and tear out their hearts.

And for fuck's sake, fuck you, too.

Cheesy, but sads

Brings a smile to my eye and a giggle to my belly

It amuses me to have a blog with an international audience even though I know I have nothing to do with that.

Law breaker

I think I just bought an ice cream bar that was not labelled for individual resale.

Falloula

Your name is too common for my own good.

Variant cover

You should use your immortality to become a superhero.

Seatbelts

Two steps forward, six steps back.

This isn't good.

Please pay upfront

I need a drink.

Weather

Rainy weather is nice, but why do I get weird looks for walking in the rain?

Treadmilling

Elephant never forgets

When you're not supposed to think about a tiny purple elephant, all you can think about is a tiny purple elephant.

Lemonade is sour

Blech.

Is that a threat, Fortune Cookie?